I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize