I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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