good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
