I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
