he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
