I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
