guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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