What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
