check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
