I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
