garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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