I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
