hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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