I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
