Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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