Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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