So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
