You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
