summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
