True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
