you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
