well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it glows. i had to have it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
