Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
