Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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