If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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