good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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