Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The feeling are messing with the penis
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
