i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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