It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
did i walk over a car last night?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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