I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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