The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
