ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
