Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
