he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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