He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
