she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
