Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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