We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
