He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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