marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
