I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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