Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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