it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
