i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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