best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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