I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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