That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
