I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
