dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
