I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
