HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
