woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
