I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
