I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
