I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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