Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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