Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize