Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
