i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The feeling are messing with the penis
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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