I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
