Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
