Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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