Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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