I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
