I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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